Tips for dealing with unhealthy family
Figuring out how to navigate relationships as an adult is challenging. You are now in charge of your own life, yet something makes it feel like you still have to do what your family expects. It is difficult to enjoy time with them and maybe you are starting to wonder how to make it better. Maybe you are not even sure it can get better, but you are struggling to get through it alone.
Focus on changing yourself.
You are never going to change another person. It is far better to change how you react or respond to a situation than to sit around waiting for the other person to suddenly decide they are being unhealthy.
Try something different, anything different.
You are not going to be perfect at boundary setting or know exactly what type of relationship you want over night. The key to breaking the unhealthy cycle is just doing something different. Even if that thing is small and not respected by the other person. You must start somewhere.
Focus on making single interactions tolerable, rather than fixing the entire relationship.
You are not going to fix years worth of damage in a conversation. Don’t try to mend or make right, especially if you know that is not going to happen. Instead focus on just getting through the interaction. Set realistic goals for that one interaction.
Talk about it.
Family secrets, shame, and guilt only live in the spaces we allow them. When we hide them away they continue to grow and grow. If we pull them out into the light it becomes much more manageable.
Get started with a good therapist.
Find a therapist who specializes in dealing with emotionally immature parents or unhealthy family relationships. They will have the education and experience to help you navigate your situation. If you are ready to get started
